Change is constant and inevitable. Even though we are aware of this, one of the most challenging things for us to do is detach ourselves from our expectations after the changes have occured. The emotional rollercoaster that comes with sudden changes is the culprit. Yet we are our own problem.
Knowledge of ways to navigate through the feelings of anger, regret, guilt, resentment disappointment and incompetence can be a powerful tool. It doesn't even matter who these emotions are geared towards or what caused them. No matter the situation, the ability to adapt is so important. The first step is adopting a routine or habit of acceptance. Man, if only it were as easy as it sounds. It absolutely could be. Here are cost effective practical steps to deal with change.
1.) Take a Time Out
In the heat of a moment when emotions are high & still fresh, be intentional, leave, go into solitude, go for a walk.....just breathe. DO NOT call anyone to vent at this time. We don't want to add fuel to the fire.
2.) Identify what we feel. Be specific. Be clear.
Call it what it is. If we are hurt, admit it. "I feel hurt" Admit any feeling felt to ourselves
"I feel embarrassed" "I feel angry."I feel fear and regret". We want to be authentic with ourselves.
Example of unclear indicators, "I feel betrayed." "I feel used"
Those are passive approaches. The Correct Way: "I feel hurt because I was betrayed and used." We say it clearly so we can fully accept what is happening.
3.) What can we control about the situation. Be realistic.
Now that we know our issue. How can we change how we feel? Yes someone or something may have caused us to feel these things but it's our responsibilty to get out of our funk and protect ourselves from a reoccurence. Depending on the situation, we could change how we allowed it to affect us in the future.
4.) Remember who and what triggered us. Act accordingly.