I was asked at the age of 24 what my core values were. I actually hadn't given it any serious thought before that. Core values are fundamental beliefs of a person or organization. When I searched for examples of core values, I noticed that many companies use them as their pillars. They literally live by them in their personal lives. If you haven't
noticed already, three of my core vales are adaptability, perseverance & inner-wealth. The other two are empathy & honesty. The absence of these two values as a trait is my deal breaker. Both in my personal life and in business. Anyone can get the boot.
Recently, you all began this journey with me. I had a significant other. I am no longer with him. Let's just say he fell short of two core values. As much as I still love him, I remain true to myself. This is painful, yet pertinent for my well-being. Now that I am a mother, setting healthy boundaries has become more important than it has ever been. I must set great examples. I'd like our son to know that he should choose what's best for his well-being every single time he has to. Even if it means shaking up his life a bit.
It was so hard for me to do. I love his dad. He has so many great qualities. However, he is not ready to acknowledge the things that were hurting me or improve them. With that truth, I had to act accordingly. About 3 months prior to me solidifying my decision to break ties, I was just getting used to the reality of being a new mom. It caused me to be more aware of our individual problem solving methods, communication and how we treated or interacted with others. I noticed so much about our patterns. Some were new discoveries. Many of them, I simply use to be in denial about. Regardless, of what I discovered. I knew some changes needed to be made.
I started with myself, of course. I was on maternity leave. I adopted a routine that supported my mental health and emotional well-being. The more I aligned with what was healthy within, the more I noticed how much I was allowing externally that was not acceptable and most certainly not good for me.
I am only in control of myself and the boundaries I set. All I could do was bring awareness. He had a choice. As a result, I had to make a proactive decision and arrangements to heal. After I did what was best for me and especially for our son. I felt feelings of guilt. I really wanted a two parent household, This is something I never had. It was so painful. I must admit, one of my most painful experiences. For the sake of maintaining a degree of privacy. Also to avoid drama, I will not be detailed about the unnecessary things I've experienced as a result of deciding to separate. But I will say this. I stood firmly in truth and self-respect to this present date. I continue to respect my son's father no matter what he does. Although it hurts, I cannot control what is said about me to others. I cannot control what those people choose to believe. I am responsible for my healing. No one else. I am healing. I am proud of my progress. I cry when I need to. I am always honest with myself. I allow myself to feel every emotion. It's a daily process. I've grown so much from this experience. I feel good. It's been only 3 months. So many amazing things have happened. I knew this plot twist had a purpose! I cannot wait to share it with you!